The Loneliest Orange

Driving home yesterday, I stopped at a red light, glanced out the window, and saw this.

So many questions, so few answers.

Meet Mel

Last night I made a new friend. This is the story of how we met.

I was strolling though my apartment, when I looked down and saw these six shapes laid out on the coffee table. Three were labeled. The labels said ear, leg, and arm. Keeping with the body part theme, I figured the circle shape was a head, and the squarish shape was the middle parts. I wasn't sure about the bat shape.
Maybe it was just visiting?

I decided to trace the shapes.
I made two of everything, because, well, two is better than one.


Then I laid the shapes on a piece of paper.
Oops, I forgot the middle parts!


There, that's better.


I wouldn't like to have a head without a nose, a mouth, or eyes.
So I added them.


Then I put the ears on.


Gotta have brains!


And guts.


And that's how I met Mel!


I think Mel and I are going to be great pals. I have a feeling Mel's going to want to hang out with me a lot, and that we'll have many adventures together. Mel might even bring along a few friends. Stay tuned!

Have you seen us?

I seriously don't understand why anyone would steal art. There's just no payoff. Any painting worth real money is going to be too well known to sell. These six works will either rot away in some fool's basement, or be recovered in a few years time and need mild to significant restoration. Either way, the best we can hope for is that the paintings are returned with as little damage possible. And the best the thieves can hope for is to not get caught. To steal a painting is just a stupid, selfish crime. It deprives the world of something unique that has the ability to provoke thought and stir emotions in millions of people. It's just wrong.

Blossoming Chestnut Branches - Vincent van Gogh (1890)

Boy in the Red Waistcoat - Paul Cezanne (1888)


Count Lepic and his Daughters - Edgar Degas (1871)


Poppies near Vetheuil - Claude Monet (1879)


Tete de Cheval - Pablo Picasso (1962)


Verre et pichet - Pablo Picasso (1944)

Two (more) Quick Reviews

27 Dresses

On Wednesday (my day off) I went to mail a few things at the post office. When that task was accomplished, I decided to drive down to the lower level of the strip mall and walk around a bit. I thought I’d pop into Yankee Candle and take a whiff, stop by Game Stop and waste a few minutes, then head over to Barnes and Noble to read a trashy magazine while drinking an overpriced latte. On my drive down, however, I had to pass the movie theatre. Since it was 4pm on a Wednesday, there were about 10 other cars in the parking lot. Huh, I thought. I wonder what’s playing. I decided to take a look. As luck would have it, there were 2 movies set to start in 5 minutes – Juno and 27 Dresses. Hmmmm. See a great movie again, or a mediocre movie for the first time? I chose the latter, and that’s how I wound up seeing 27 Dresses. Wait ‘til it’s on cable and you’re home with the flu.

Michael Clayton

George Clooney is a good actor. George Clooney has given great performances before. Unfortunately, George Clooney was not the best actor of the year. It might be that the title character was written a little flat. However, even if that were true, an excellent actor would be able to bring the nuance with him. I believe George did a wonderful job, but I wasn’t always sure where his character was on the emotional pendulum. He spent most of the movie making small circles around the middle, with a few wild swings towards extreme regret! or guilt-racked associate! The movie itself held my interest throughout, and I definitely recommend it. It was somewhat slow-paced, but it built towards a satisfying ending, and there weren’t any parts that dragged so badly that I pulled out my phone to check the time. It’s a movie that I’m glad I saw, but that I have no interest in seeing again. Also, there were several other performances that I felt far surpassed George’s, with Tom Wilkinson’s being the obvious standout. So, to sum up: good movie, good acting, worthy of the Oscar nods, but not the statues themselves. Except, perhaps, Tom. Sorry George.

Oh Dad.

Apparently, this is how my father spends his free time. (I just hope it's not him under there.)

I actually think this is pretty damn clever. Hence, this post.

That's My Girl!

“I see an America where we won’t let anyone swift boat our country’s future.” Finally, a Democrat willing to punch back. About time. About fucking time.

I Voted!

I just got back from voting. I’ve always loved the experience, but I have to say it’s been the best in New York. It has to do with the fact that my polling place is a block and a half away from my house, at the local elementary school. I love walking over there with a book tucked under my arm (to ward off any possible lines.) I love the ritual involved: giving my name; waiting while the poll worker flips through the pages of the log book; watching her fill out my voter card; peeking to see what number I was (tonight I was voter #125 in district 17); entering the booth and pulling the lever to the right; flipping the switches and watching the X appear next to my candidate’s name; pulling the lever back to the left and listening as my votes are locked in.

I always exit the booth with a smile. I always feel a little choked up as I walk back through the school’s lobby and glance at the construction paper artwork and point tallies for this month’s fundraiser. I always have an extra bounce in my step as I walk back home, passing people heading towards the school, thinking about getting home and turning on CNN to watch the results come in. I always feel full of hope.

I am especially hopeful this year. It’s been a long eight years, and I’m ready for a change. I’m so proud that this country is on the verge of electing either a black man or a white woman – groundbreaking in both cases and long overdue. I’m excited that we’re on the verge of electing a Democrat. I’m anxious to get back to the business of striving to be the type of country that other nations look to emulate. I’m happy and excited and nervous… but most of all I’m full of hope.

Unfortunately for Obama, my hope rests with Clinton. A promise of “change” will never trump an honest platform, and I’ve found more that I agree with in Hillary’s than in Barrack’s,

Look for more as the night goes on.

P.S. Missouri is a crucial state for the Republican and Democratic candidates alike. If you haven’t already, please vote!

Vote!

Vote. Vote! Get out and vote!